Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and focus on what could go right.

...But here I am with nothing to do, thinking of the year ahead of me. I think 2013 will put my love relationship to test again. With both of us having our last year of studies to do, plus how Peter has a job as an AINs, there's not much time to see each other. I'll probably use this time to focus on myself, I guess. It's just hard for me to stay away from Peter when he's all I think about everyday. It's takes so much from me just to stop myself from picking up the phone to call/text him. I have to tell myself to- LET. HIM. STUDY! Blerghh. I have to stop worrying about EVERYTHING, all the time. 

This is such a petty problem compared to the fight I had with my dad the other day. I was at Peter's helping him make a bunk bed. My dad called at 4pm to tell me to go home at 5pm and get ready for a party. He told me to take my brother to the party, in place of my parents, because they'll be going to a wedding. Even though my cousins will be there, both my brother and I didn't want to go. If it was a party of a family member- sure, I'd gladly go. But this party is of a guy I use to know in primary school. It's been over 10 years since I've ever been to any of their family's celebrations. I barely know their family. I know that I was at fault by coming home an hour later than what my dad told me. My parents were getting ready as I came home, and he asked (in his disappointed voice) why I was so late. I went in my room to put down my bag and kinda yelled at him, asking why my brother and I had to go to a party when we barely knew them. He told me off, going on about "it doesn't matter if we're not close to them", "if I was upset then I shouldn't go and go back to my boyfriend's house instead", "if I don't like staying at home, I should stay with my boyfriend since he's so important to me", and "I don't value my family"... something along those lines, anyway. Of course I value family. To me, this argument wasn't about where I placed my family. I just see it as myself not wanting to do something that doesn't make me happy. It felt like I was taken advantage of when my dad used the "family" talk on me. Like, if I don't do something for them, it means I put myself before everyone else. They don't realise it's far from that. Where did my empathetic father go? He's not a Pisces like me. I don't know what to do anymore. They expect so much from me. D:

"This too, shall pass."