Something Like Fate. ♥: Keep your chin up.

These past few weeks has been too hard to deal with. Applications for graduate midwife positions reopened mid-August. As soon as it opened, I contacted my past referees.. but they didn't respond. So since then I was stressed af with finding new referees. I went through my placement paperwork to pick out midwives who I had a good relationship with. Called up one hospital, the maternity manager told me that she'll let them know to call me back. Called another hospital and they said they could only tell me if that staff member will be working on that day.. One of the midwives that I asked for was on shift so they put my call through the ward so I could speak to her. I tried my best when I asked her, I only worked with her 2 times (the last time was when my Aunty had her son) but I could tell in her voice that she was reluctant to be used as a referee since she couldn't remember who I was. I knew that if I went to speak to her in person she would remember me but I was too deflated to ask again. Since calling up didn't go as well, I went into the hospitals to ask when they'll be in so I could catch up with them before their shift. Got 2 new referees last week and needed another. I decided to ask my old referee who didn't reply via text and found out from the ward that she wasn't going to be working until tonight! Just caught up with her a few hours ago before her shift and she was so lovely and encouraging. When I told her that I tried contacting her, she said she wasn't aware and was very apologetic. She kept telling me that I will get a job, to keep my chin up and stay positive. I felt kinda guilty that I was putting her as a backup referee. But my other referees are really nice too. I'm just super grateful to know people who are kind and super supportive :)

I submitted my application tonight (closes next Monday), fingers crossed that I'll have a midwifery job next year haha. And fingers and toes crossed that Peter gets a nursing job too! All that's left is applying for the private hospital which (if everything goes right) I'll hand in my application tomorrow. I thought I was covered with immunisations but apparently not lol. Had to get my flu vaccination and tetanus shot yesterday plus bloods to test levels for hep B and rubella. So hopefully tomorrow my results will be in and I'll get the rest of my vaccines.

Enough with the boring job talk, time to talk about last month :O I've been slacking off with getting a better body.. but I had a good excuse of being busy and what-not lol. Continuing from my last post, I went out to dinner for the bestie's 21st birthday. Had a pretty nice cake :) a few days after that, I had dinner with my parents and brother on Melbourne St which had the most perfect fried ice cream! Went to Walkers Arms with my whole family, and I surprised them by eating until I couldn't breathe/move. Had a dessert date at TTP Cocolat and another date at Nordburger. Seriously the best burger place thus far. Tried their New York hot dog this time and mmmmm-mm. Their chocolate milkshake is to die for, too. On Saturday, I had my Aunty's 21st (yah she younger than me) and had dinner with the whole family, Peter and brother's date at Enjoy Inn which catered Wedding food! Such a good night :) I love being around my family because they're so strange yet I feel so comfortable just listening to them talk. But for some reason I feel uncomfortable with my dad's side of the family :/ Got a new computer which helped take my mind off stressful thoughts. Went into Headspace and will be seeing a mental health clinician soon, hoping that will help me with my self-confidence and thinking. Bought new things... I have a feeling I'll be spending quite a bit this month too T_T also goodbye to one of my favourite Youtube personalities/style icon, Leda Bunnie! She deleted every social site of hers (YT, Twitter, blog...), so I feel a bit lost. I'm not sure what else to write haha I've definitely been feeling down and stressed lately. I'm hoping that I won't be feeling so negative now that I got job-related stuff out of the way.